TGIF and Valentine's Day

TGIF, although technically, work isn't over yet; there's still tomorrow to get over with before i can truly rest. however, having finished the bulk of my work today, i can heave a sigh of relief. i designed a 146-page journal straight from 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. yesterday, never pausing even for coffee breaks. doing the layout was easy, it was the image manipulations that had to be done that slowed down the work. i don't understand people who think that inserting images in a Word document is guarantee of good publication. but anyway, i did it. graphs, tables, and figures are now ready for offset printing. my back ached, my eyes burned from staring at the monitor, and my tummy grumbled from lack of food.
my week's highlight:
whoever notices valentine's day? nobody i know, that's for sure. but someone made the day special for me.
so there we were, driving to school. my son asked for P20. he does not normally bring cash to school but he said he wanted to buy some snacks for the ride home. so fine, i gave him P20. soon as he got home, he called me up and said, "Mama, do you remember the money you gave me?" I said, "Course, why?" He answered, "I used it to buy you flowers."

Falling Leaves [part two]

I can't believe i'm writing about falling leaves again! it's just that from where i'm seated right now, i can see trees that, only a few days ago, were full of leaves. one swoosh of the wind and leaves of all sizes and shapes and colors join their counterparts on the ground. but while there, in mid-air, with those leaves dancing with the wind before deciding where to finally rest, the sight is just so beautiful it makes the heart ache. and if that fleeting image--my own version of "autumn" this corner of the world--already brings the heart delight, imagine what a real autumn elsewhere would do to my feeble heart [probably a heart attack!]. someone said spring is the most beautiful time of the year. not having witnessed this yet, i will neither confirm nor deny. my autumn is inspiring enough. spring might mean new life, but it's autumn that says "hope of a new life".
and look where almost half of those leaves went: right on top of my car!
errr...

A Day at a Time

Over a year ago, i was faced with a truly difficult choice and a truly heavy responsibility. the path i eventually took left me alone, and angry, but very much determined. and one of the major things i had to do was to help my son see through his play therapy sessions to overcome a trauma. the healing didn't come easy or swift for him. people close to him--the class adviser, the school guidance counselor--had to be involved. but now he's ok. in fact, he's more than ok; he's doing great. he doesn't have this "anger" inside him anymore. he has friends at school. he has kept his high grades. and he is growing up just fine; naughty, but fine.
i once wrote that i've finally given him a home where he feels safe and secure. looking at him now, i know i have given him much more than that.
and i was reminded of all of these now because someone close to me is faced with a similar [in some respects] challenge. and while no words could provide comfort and assurance right now, helping someone to "breathe again" a day at a time is one of the benefits of having felt, and lived, a parallel life.

How does one breathe again?

It's been a while since i last sat down and wrote for this blog. it's probably because i just realized that writing about things that upset, or things that delight, is easy. but when something totally unexpected and tragic happens, it becomes very difficult to write, or to find words to express the self.
why do some relationships fall apart? why do some don't? what does it take to hold on to one's partner in life these days? i have friends who are perfectly happy with their married lives. but those who are close to me---truly close friends and other special people around me---have suffered the pain of rejection and separation from people they have planned to spend the rest of their lives with.
again i go back to that line in the movie Under the Tuscan Sun: when someone tells you he/she doesn't love you anymore, you shouldn't have to wake up day after day after something like that. how exactly does one breathe again?