On His Own

It's my baby's school outing today, the first time he'll ever go on a day-long trip without me. I figured it's about time he tries it on his own. Days before today, he was anxious and was requesting me to go with him. he had so many concerns [like not being able to manage to change his own clothes!] but i tried to calm him and convince him that he would do just fine without me. It's flattering that he still wants me there, but i know that he'd benefit more if he starts doing things on his own now.
Last night, he tried one last time to ask me to accompany him. I said no, even if--funnily--i'm having separation anxieties of my own! By way of compromise, i agreed to bring him at least to his classroom.
So hand in hand we entered the school gates. No sooner have we made ten steps when a classmate called out his name. Without even looking back at me, he ran and played with his friend. I shouted my last-minute reminders for the trip but he wasn't listening anymore. I wanted a goodbye hug and a kiss but that couldn't be had anymore, sigh! So much for his anxieties.
It's an experience beyond words seeing your child wanting to remain a child so he could cling to you but wanting and needing to grow up at the same time.
I know he'd be ok and that he'd enjoy this day.