Highs and Lows
Manila looked beautiful this morning. Yup, can't believe i said that, but it's true. After a night of downpour, Manila this morning is enveloped by very thick fog (not smog!) that made it look like one of those white Christmas scenes one sees in foreign movies. it was just so beautiful! alas, like any good thing, it only lasted a while.
In a movie entitled "Us" by Bruce Willis and Michele Pfeifer years ago, they had this custom every dinnertime of saying their highs and lows during the day, as a way of forging closer ties between family members.
This week, I had my share of highs and lows, with the "lows" almost succeeding to eclipse the "highs". The lowest was when someone very close to me and my son tried to take his own life.
I learned of his plan at around 1 am. I had to be the one, then, to inform his family of his plan so they could check on him. I had to be the one, with pulse racing, to check out on him at lunchtime if he was still alive. i had to be the one now to make sure that he stays sane and not try to do the same thing again. i ran the whole gamut of emotions: shock, pity, anxiety, and now, anger.
I find it unfair that this problem got thrown in my lap. i find it very cowardly of this person to have tried something like this. And even if i am not a very religious person, i have no apt words to say to someone who has no respect for his God-given life. But this person needs help, and, for the meantime, i'm putting not-so-pretty thoughts out of my head and helping him till he get back on his feet.
I never believed friends and family when they told me last year that i was strong, that i could manage on my own. But now, i know that i am, and that i can. And the fact that i could still try to help this other person only shows that i have grown stronger since last year.
My week's highs center on my son and family members who are far away, who, with their generous hearts, extend their support unasked, and totally unexpected.
Hence, this perfect friday morning---short though the vision of whiteness was---i'm using as balm to soothe me, and to heal me from the see-saw of emotions i've just gone through this week.
In a movie entitled "Us" by Bruce Willis and Michele Pfeifer years ago, they had this custom every dinnertime of saying their highs and lows during the day, as a way of forging closer ties between family members.
This week, I had my share of highs and lows, with the "lows" almost succeeding to eclipse the "highs". The lowest was when someone very close to me and my son tried to take his own life.
I learned of his plan at around 1 am. I had to be the one, then, to inform his family of his plan so they could check on him. I had to be the one, with pulse racing, to check out on him at lunchtime if he was still alive. i had to be the one now to make sure that he stays sane and not try to do the same thing again. i ran the whole gamut of emotions: shock, pity, anxiety, and now, anger.
I find it unfair that this problem got thrown in my lap. i find it very cowardly of this person to have tried something like this. And even if i am not a very religious person, i have no apt words to say to someone who has no respect for his God-given life. But this person needs help, and, for the meantime, i'm putting not-so-pretty thoughts out of my head and helping him till he get back on his feet.
I never believed friends and family when they told me last year that i was strong, that i could manage on my own. But now, i know that i am, and that i can. And the fact that i could still try to help this other person only shows that i have grown stronger since last year.
My week's highs center on my son and family members who are far away, who, with their generous hearts, extend their support unasked, and totally unexpected.
Hence, this perfect friday morning---short though the vision of whiteness was---i'm using as balm to soothe me, and to heal me from the see-saw of emotions i've just gone through this week.
posted by Bramasole at
9:25 AM
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